What Really Happened

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have become so distraught over having to share the spotlight with other stars who have had children this week, that they are considering putting off their twins' birth for several weeks. The couple claims they should not share the spotlight with any human.

The divorce proceedings continued between Kristy Brinkley and her estranged husband Peter Cook on Monday. Brinkley took the stand and told tales of horror movies the two had seen before their break up.

Alex Rodriguez has finally admitted he has been having an affair behind his wife Cynthia's back. It was not Madonna, however, that caught Rodriguez's eye, it was himself. He admitted the affair with himself on Thursday afternoon.

The new Rock Band 2 game is set for release in September exclusively on Xbox 360. The game will feature two exciting new aspects. Groupies have been added for a real life experience, as have various one year supplies of drugs.

Madonna has sought the advice of an attorney to end her marriage with Guy Ritchie. The Material Girl apparently became frustrated with the marriage when Ritchie refused to obey her commands and vogue.

Britney Spears was back in court on Tuesday in her ongoing custody battle with ex-Kevin Federline. Against Spears' wishes, she was awarded more time with her children by the judge in the case.

Ruben Studdard was supposed to be a big star coming off of his American Idol win in season two. At least that is what Surata Zuri McCants was thinking. Now, several years later, the pair is getting married and McCants is stuck with the children's birthday star.

Amy Winehouse's parents were shocked at the news of their daughters drug problems over the weekend. Winehouse, however, claims she did the drugs right in front of her parents and insinuated that her parents are morons.

The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce released their list of new stars for the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Thursday. The list sparked an outrage from the Keebler Elves, who could not believe they did not receive a star.

The Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy circus will be coming to an end soon. On Wednesday, it was Pamela Anderson's turn to act like a dumb blond by suggesting she did not know how Spears got pregnant without ever having sex.

America's Got Talent is coming back into living rooms tonight, and the show will have an interesting twist. A talentless Britney Spears gets ready to audition for the show but is heard on the phone crying to her mom while trying to explain she has no talent.

Pearl Jam kicked off their new tour on Wednesday night in West Palm Beach, Florida. The band shocked their audience when they came out playing only instruments made from items in their kitchen.

Spike Lee shot back at Clint Eastwood over the weekend, and his response was quickly addressed by Eastwood. The 'Dirty Harry' star claims that "black Japanese actors simply do not exist."

A massive orgy broke out at Seattle Mariners baseball game last night after two lesbian fans were seen kissing on the jumbo-tron during the seventh inning stretch.

Jamie Lynn Spears, who has not spoken much since her pregnancy, let loose on Wednesday. She held a tell all interview with TheRealDeal Magazine in which she discussed pregnancy, and being a child herself.